John had just come back from his milk run to Costco where he got paid 400 dollars a pop for a twenty minute trip to deliver pop not milk which was good because John didn't have six bits to his name. John had a nose for the news and had heard that someone was going to get canned so when he got back to the warehouse he looked through the junk mail while waiting to see who it was. His boss had been riding him for a week and needling him and calling him a nerd in hopes that John would quit. You see, his boss who was a dead head, had asked John to deliver a truckload of bikinis to Home Depot and his boss wanted John to carry the can for the mistake. John had try to tell his boss that it was a mistake but his boss said, " can it you're nothing but a fifth wheel around here." He knew his boss was about to make him walk the plank for getting egg on his face . He knew his boss was not one to say the buck stops here and take the blame, but more likely to leave his employees hanging. His boss walked up to him and said, " Hi! you're canned, you`ve been cut." John felt that he had been rail roaded but he thought that perhaps his boss was just kidding him. He started to say, " lead a life," but his boss interrupted him and said." Get lost." John knew that his boss (who pretended he was a real square) was hitting the the big O. He wanted to tell his boss to dry up and thought about fingering him to his wife and tell her that the boss had a girlfriend on the side who he refused to drop. Not only did he have a wife and a girlfriend his boss would hit on every girl that he saw! With what he knew, he had enough juice to get the boss to take him back, but who wants to work for a jerk. When he left the warehouse everyone stopped to watch him leave so he shouted to them," Get a ticket" and he slammed the door which went bam and and all the door hardware rattled. A few minutes ago he had just finished saying TGIF and was looking forward to jamming out with his boom box and jam with his friends. Life was the pits and to be fired was heavy. He couldn't decide if he wanted to nuke his boss or try to make up but decided to drop it but it really burned him up to carry the can and to get canned. He looked down in his hand and found a chain letter that had been in the junk mail. He never, ever joined up to chain letters. The chain letter said, " Throw a banna cream pie in the face of the name at the top of the list. Mail this letter to 5 other people. He put his boss's name on the top of the list and mailed it to everyone he knew. That should even things up a bit.
Idioms in the Story
can even up join up junk mail lead a life nerd nuke rail road six bits TGIF the big O the buck stops here walk the plank chain letter a pop fifth wheel boom box cut dead head can it carry the can drop it drop dry up get a ticket get off your soap box make up milk run mix you up needle bam hardware heavy hi hit on jam out jam kid leave me hanging ride me nose for news on the side pits juice burn up finger square zap jerk get lost egg in the face