The Most Unruly Class in the World

The word was out that Autumn Leaf School was desperate to find a teacher for the most unruly class in the world. They left teachers with their tail between their legs, fleeing from the boisterous children. The principal had it up to here and began to call in the most strict and strange teachers he could find.

The first teacher was a small wrinkled lady who reminded the students of a doting grandmother. The kids struggled to keep a straight face when she promised to take them under my wing and help them be the sweet little children they could be. Her lectures about good behavior went in one ear and out the other, but the soft-hearted women didn't notice. She began asking the class questions, but they remained silent. She tried to think of another way to appease them as she sat wearily into the teacher's chair. She pondered for a very long time until she fell asleep with a quiet snore. The kids smirked and whispered, You snooze you lose, as they snuck out of the class room. When the poor lady woke up, she panicked and said they had scared the life out of her. With that, the first teacher had been driven away.

The next teacher was a burly, ex-marine that looked like he ate gym candy. He promised he could nail down the bad behavior as quick as a rabbit. However, his plan went up in smoke as the kids refused to remain on schedule with his lessons. Two kids, partners in crime, stole his whistle and a free for all broke out as kids threw projectiles at each other, laughing and screaming. The man's pride was taken down a notch as he was forced to eat his own words and resign.

An eccentric old man was the next to get a shot at taming the wild class. His appearance caused the pupils to raise an eyebrow as he strode into the room wearing a lab coat and soot-stained goggles that barely held down his shockingly messy hair. He claimed the best way to stop bad behavior was to study it from a scientific standpoint and nip it in the bud. The kids felt like they were stranded in virgin territory when the teacher began to show off his extreme intellect by launching into a complex lesson about the side effects on a young brain when it didn't receive proper stimuli and daily challenges. One student made a face and claimed that learning was a rip off for people who were born on easy street. The man's face flushed red as he proclaimed, People who are dumber than a bag of hammers are the only ones who believe their money talks for them! Then he proceeded to storm out of the room and quit with a huff. The kids cheered as they watched him tear down the road, pulling a Florida Green and angering the approaching school bus driver. The students all passed the buck when questioned about who had infuriated the teacher, until the principle told them to take a hike and head home.

A young woman took his place the next day, and kept the mischievous children busy by going overboard with pop quizzes and worksheets. The rebellious kids were dumbfounded by this aggressive approach and gathered to collect your thoughts over lunch. With a malicious glint in their eye, they walked back to class in a neat, orderly line. Thinking she had won, she praised them for being quick study, and promised to lessen the amount of papers if they remained on her good side. A few minutes later, she learned not to jump to conclusions. The children began to shower her with a torrent of spitballs, the ammunition being the many papers she had handed out. The principal had to be brought in to call the dogs off. The teacher stood up, and left the school without looking back.

There were many more teachers that braved the challenge, only to fall short and warn other teachers to keep their distance. The principal was losing hope that the loose cannon class could ever be taught. Then, like a bolt from the blue, a young man appeared on the doorstep and asked if he could apply for a job. The principal warned him of their reputation and told him he was crazy to try, but he simply replied, If the shoe fits, then call me crazy all you want. Scoffing, the principal thought the big shot wouldn't make it past lunch hour. He was startled to find the man reading from the textbook while the kids silently took notes. When the students left for lunch, the principal asked him how he did it. You simply zigged when you should have zagged, he answered. His eyes twinkled with humor as the principal struggle to comprehend his words. I'll be back before next period, he promised, and then the dark horse strode out of the room with a smile.

by Madeline Van Voorst

Idioms in the story:

keep a straight face under my wing in one ear and out the other You snooze you lose scared the life out of her gym candy nail down quick as a rabbit up in smoke on schedule eat his own words free for all get a shot nip it in the bud virgin territory easy street made a face dumber than a bag of hammers money talks passed the buck take a hike Florida Green going overboard jump to conclusions collect your thoughts call the dogs off fall short keep their distance loose cannon a bolt from the blue If the shoe fits big shot zigged when you should have zagged dark horse